The episode with all the Arie drama and Chris bugging out. Then next week, hometown dates.

Who Got Kicked Off: The red X’s indicate those kicked off this week. Fare thee well, John aka Wolf aka Data Destruction Specialist.

Destination: Prague

One-On-One: Arie got the first one-on-one and cold shoulder. Arie was on the hot seat this week when Emily found out he had dated a producer for the show. Turns out it was extremely brief and happened about 10 years ago. Emily was upset Arie didn’t tell her. Arie was in the dark why Emily was acting weird and talking about honesty. (Honesty counter aka how many times “honesty” was said: about 10 billion.) Finally Arie admits he had a tattoo of his ex girlfriend’s name on his arm covered up. Come on, if he’s going to reveal that on national television do you think he wouldn’t tell you about dating a producer for a hot second? Emily is really tough on Arie and I think it’s because she likes him so much. I’m even going to go out on a limb and say she chooses him in the end. Fear not, I haven’t read any spoilers. This is just my inkling.

Anyway, Chris Harrison informs us the awkward conversation between Arie, the producer, and Emily happened off camera, but gives us a quick recap. Basically, it wasn’t a big deal and Arie and Emily are all happy-go-lucky again. THEN at the end of the date over dinner Arie tells Emily he loves her. We haven’t even hit hometowns yet and he’s already throwing out the L word! Emily’s response: “If things keep going this way nothing would make me happier.” And they make-out again and again. And fireworks.

One-On-One: Wolf This date was doomed from the beginning. Emily’s relationship was already slow moving with Wolf-John-Data-Destruction-Specialist man. To top it off, during the date they went to put a lock on a bridge, where lovers go to signify their eternal love for each other, the lock wouldn’t lock around the bridge. Womp womp.

After Emily got back from her one-on-one there was a very dramatic scene where Sean ran all over Prague to find her. And whaddya know, she just happened to be standing in an alley. Convenient.

Sean: “She had that look on her face that said she missed me.” Yes, that’s also what she told you verbally. Good deducing, Sean.

Group Date: Oh, so so awkward. Dougie, Doug, Doug, and then we’re gonna give him a best friend hug….And the most uncomfortable interaction goes to…Doug sitting with arms crossed, sideways to Emily and apologizes (yes apologizes) when their legs touch. Oh, Doug. And that’s not even the worse part.

Doug: I’d love for you to meet my family and have you see a different side to me.
Emily: What other side would I see?
Doug: Nothing.
Well, alright then.

And still worse…Emily pulls Doug aside and begins to obviously let him down and Doug must not have been paying attention or not picking up what she was laying down because he went in for a kiss – nay a peck on the lips – midway through her speech! And so Doug goes home.

Doug: “I did not see that one coming today.” – Really? Really?
“I think my girl radar is just totally broken.” – You have girl radar? You hide it well.

One-On-One: Jef and Emily bought marionettes. After leaving the store, Jef went back and came out with a puppet for Ricki. “We couldn’t leave ricki hanging.” Get it – hanging – because they’re marionettes. I don’t think he meant to be punny, but I thought it was funny. Just me?

They put on a private puppet show in an ornate library. This could have been terrible. I repeat terrible. Surprisingly it was kind of hilarious. Definitely tugged at my heart strings. (Apologies for the terrible pun.) They reenacted their love story and I’ve included a few highlights below:

Jef: “I really like your nail polish.”
Emily: “Ok thanks I’ll never change it.”
Emily: “Where’s Jef? I really want to talk to Jef. Where’s Jef?”
Jef: “Oh, I’m so nervous.”
Jef: “I’m a million times in love with you. Can we get a dog?”

Dude, what a lucky girl. Two guys already professing their love for her and we haven’t even hit hometowns.

Jef: “I want to date you so hard and marry the fuck out of you.” No commentary needed.

Rose Ceremony: Emily opted to skip the cocktail and go straight to the rose ceremony, which threw Chris through a loop. You thought he was bugging out in all of his interviews this episode because he wasn’t getting time with Emily, well wait ’til he heard there’s no cocktail party. At the ceremony it got down to Chris and John. Chris blurted out that he needed to talk to her. Emily put down the rose and chatted with him for a bit. And she gave Chris the final rose.

And on to the hometown dates.