It’s the Men Tell All and you know what that means…that’s right, Ryan’s back! That kid just makes me chuckle. My next mission is to find a Tumblr or blog that is dedicated to Shit Ryan Says.

Behind-the-Scenes Bloopers: There were a couple good ones but most of them just revealed little lady Emily has a bit of a mouth on her. The bleeper got some good use. I’m not complaining. It made me giggle. She cursed on her date with Joe because she spilled wine on her favorite dress and then again after she promised to do the running man for Chris Harrison after the finale.

Preview of The Bachelor Pad:Chris Harrison called it a “second shot at love.” I called it trash television at its finest. Despite the fact I know too much about the Bachelor/ette and commit time to maintaining this blog, I have limits. I told myself I would not sink that low because I didn’t want to give them the ratings. That said, I’ll probably be watching it…every week. I can’t help it. I’m too far in. Save yourselves. Plus, Ed (from Jillian’s season) is going to be there! And he is just too tall, dark, and handsome. With Ed, is Erica Rose from the last Bachelor Pad. Does she have nothing else to do with her time? If you don’t remember her or have not seen her website, you need to visit it. No, seriously. Do it.

Another twist is there are Bachelor/ette super fans competing. To see the full cast click here. Apparently the vets aren’t too happy about this twist. One alum said, “You didn’t earn your spot here. You didn’t get dumped on national television yet.” Bachelor Pad Season 3 premiers July 23rd.

Revisiting Best Quote of the Season: Yes, Wolf aka John aka Data Destruction Specialist this one goes to you. “I have a rule. If you’re a dude and you have Louis Vuitton luggage, you’re a douche.” (That last word was bleeped, but I’m gonna use my imagination and say this was uttered.)

Men on the Hot Seat

Kalon: This season’s villain returned and was put on the hot seat. He answered as expected with lines I’m sure he practiced in the mirror. He remained unapologetic throughout. Mad props to Emily who called him out on his well-tailored lines saying, “And you my dear should be a politician because that is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

Ryan: Ryan, I’ve missed you. Maybe it’s because you “have many worldly gifts,” or maybe it’s because you look in the mirror and ask yourself every day who you want to be or your quest to be the next Bachelor. Chris Harrison “put America’s minds at ease” reassuring us Ryan was not even on the short list. Cue collective sigh. So Chris and Ryan are joking and Ryan slips in, “I have a journal.” Pause. Ryan has a journal. Ryan has a journal. I need to find this journal. It is bound to be a gold mine of nuggets of wisdom and ryan idioms. Ending the interview, Ryan asked Chris Harrison, “What about the trophy wife thing, you don’t wanna touch on that?” Chris Harrison’s response whilst chuckling, “You’re just making it worse.” Turns to the camera, “Ladies, the line forms here.”

Of course it ends with vignettes of Emily’s love story with the two men remaining: Arie and Jef. Plus, the footage makes it looks like she can’t decide between the two and chooses neither as he mother (I’m assuming it was her mom) advises her to “wait on any type of engagement.”

After the show ends, they add on a little more behind-the-scenes footage with Chris interviewing Emily about her weird obsession with cat videos. She talked about starting a Youtube channel dedicated to videos she’s taken of her two cats, but cutely added, “But I think I need to tie a man down first.”

We’ll see if that happens when the finale premiers Sunday, 8|7c.

Jef or Arie?