Hometown dates! In a major turn of events, nothing happened. As expected every family loved Des and gave their sons their blessings to take her hand in marriage. And this season continues down the road of perfection to snoozeville. Where is the drama? Isn’t this The Bachelorette? The only inkling to some type of shocker is that Des is sobbing saying she wants to go home in the upcoming episodes.

Fun Fact: All of the bachelors have said “I love you” to Des, except for Brooks. And Brooks is the only bachelor Des has said she loves (twice actually – one time to Chris Harrison and then again on the Hometown dates this week in a side interview).

Who got kicked off: Zak W. After professing his love and giving Des a promise ring, his heart was crushed. Des gave the ring back and Zak unceremoniously tossed it out of the limo as the limo so kindly pulled over to the side of the road.

Brooks

Salt Lake City, UT – Des surprised Brooks with a list of all the moments she loved in their relationship thus far, because Brooks has been hesitant about this process of finding love. Brooks took Des out on the water in a canoe, which he promptly got water in. Des met a whole slew of people. I lost count. What was cute, was that they all wore nametags for her. Thoughtful…and necessary. They were a lively bunch.

Chris

McMinnville, OR – Flashback to Allie and Roberto’s hometown date and you’re pretty much set. Balls, bats, gloves. Check. Cheesy (and not gonna lie adorable!) chalkboard eye black stickers. Check. Fun Corny Fact: Chris wrote “heart Chris” under Des’ eye black stickers “because [her] eyes were up here.” Get it? Eye…heart…Chris. Oh Chris, still so punny. Chris used to play professional baseball so he took Des to the field he grew up playing on and they played a little catch and did some batting practice. Des is pretty sporty and held her own. When meeting the fam it got a little weird. Chris’ dad is a chiropractor so he gave Des an adjustment after he found out she tweaked her back on one of the dates.

Drew

Phoenix, AZ – Drew’s family is pretty much the poster family for perseverance. Drew’s Dad overcame alcoholism. His parents are divorced, and Drew has a severely mentally handicapped sister, who you can tell he just adores. They were warm and welcoming and made Des and Drew play a dating game where they have to guess how the other person would answer a question (i.e. Does Drew prefer pancakes or waffles?). Sidenote: Oh man, I just realized how cute Des and Drew sounds. DD. Double D. Double D’s. Dunkin Donuts. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.

Zak W.

Dallas, TX – First and foremost, Zak’s family is awesome. My kind of people. They are just a bundle of enthusiasm…on crack…times ten. Or in the words of Des: “Picture the best date you’ve ever had, times it by then, and then live in it.” They are just living in a fantasical place. Or maybe it’s the sugar. Zak’s family owns a snow cone truck. Des said, “A future with Zak would be something new every single day.” Then out comes the snow cone truck. Followed by a flock of teeny tiny little kids who immediately swarmed it. Followed by Zak in a penguin suit. During the hometown date, Zak gave Des a promise ring, but I’m talking wedding ring status. If that’s a promise ring I want know what he thinks a wedding ring looks like because that sucker was huge.

Tweet of the night: Goes to @MonikaZinnn for her spot on assessment of The Bachelorette audition requirements. This tweet was from the last episode, but c’est la vie.

So basically all of the guys are perfect and have perfect families and love Des. Splendid. Am I the only one who’s finding this season to be a little on the snoozefest side? Is there hope for more drama in The Men Tell All? Am I just being a bitter betty?