Jimmy Kimmel crashed the party this week, basically ousting Chris Harrison as the host and 3rd wheeling it on the dates. He also brought his observation that the word “amazing” was just slightly overused in the house and promptly instilled a dollar jar for every time the word was uttered. We were also blessed with a counter every time someone was caught saying it on the episode.
Who got kicked off: The one’s with red X’s were sent home. Amber, Tracy, and Trina.
One-on-One: The first one-on-one of the week went to firecracker Kaitlyn. Her date card was unusually straight forward this time around. It said there would be unlimited appetizers and soaring views. A limo came to pick Kaitlyn up and whisked her and Chris off to…Costco. A-mazing. AND not only did they score a date to Costco, but they got a triple date with Jimmy Kimmel. And got to roll around in this.
Jimmy Kimmel gave them a list of things to get for a dinner party they would be hosting for him. At the dinner party Kaitlyn got red lipstick all up on Chris and told him she had a man’s laugh and he had a girls laugh. And it was love.
When Jimmy asked Kaitlyn how she felt about Chris in the fantasy suite with other ladies, she said, “You can’t take a car out without test driving it.” So that’s Kaitlyn.
Group Date: Becca, Jillian, Kelsey, Mackenzie, Ashley S., Juelia, Amber, Jade, Carly, Tracy, Nikki
This group date was a farming challenge. Basically all things Jimmy Kimmel thinks happens on a farm. Pretty sure it had nothing to do with what Chris actually does on a day-to-day basis, but it was great nonetheless. The race included corn shucking, drinking unpasteurized goat’s milk, scooping manure, fetching chicken eggs, and wrangling a greased pig. We saw a lot of Jillian on this date. And mostly her backside. Jillian hopped the fence to the pig pen in an epic slow-motion, action movie way.
But it was Cruise Ship Singer Carly that won! And yet it was Becca that got the rose and is still one of the few ladies to NOT have kissed Chris.
One-on-One: Whitney got the next one-on-one at a vineyard, and her and Chris had the great impromptu idea of crashing a wedding. Spoiler alert. They both were equally terrible at crashing a wedding. Creating a back story and just any and all things involved with crashing a wedding were just not their fortay. For pete’s sake there’s a movie on it. When crashing a wedding, don’t make friends with the wedding party. It’s called incognito. Get on board. Also, don’t have a pow-wow with the bride and groom’s parents.
Pool Party #2 or The Cocktail Party that Wasn’t
There was a scandalous make-out session on a bed with an ex-playboy bunny (Jade). There were tears. There was plotting. That’s probably my favorite part – when a small group of girls, generally around 2 or 3 all huddle and announce that they’re going to steal Chris away from some other chick. And then they talk about it some more and get the approval of the other girls and then give a couple “Okay, okay I’m gonna do it”‘s before finally making their way as awkwardly as possible to break up the party. This episode I’m referring to Ashley I. and Mackenzie trying to steal Chris away from Jillian in the hot tub. Ashley I. broke down in tears at one point and then again when finally talking to Chris. Then she swallowed his face again in an intense make-out session.
But to start the party Juelia thought this was the best time to pull Chris aside and tell her about her really deep past. Talk about a mood killer. You could see it on Chris’s face. He was like, I’m trying so hard to listen to you right now but all I can think about are the 17 other girls in bikinis with drinks in the water right now, probably playing chicken. And dammit, what was she saying. Concentrate. Look concerned. Ah! Tears! Why are there tears?
Dude, Jueles, there’s a time and a place for that. Not the time. And certainly not the place. Definitely an important part of you, but not at a pool party.
Three more girls who we didn’t even have a chance to get to know left, taking us down to 15 ladies!
Jimmy also left the mansion in true Bachelor style – limo rolling out in the cover of night with the music playing, tears streaming down his cheeks, and talking to a hidden cameraman behind-the-scenes, crying, “We spent 4 days together!”
Next episode I hope we discover what happened in that tent they keep teasing, because it looks like plenty more tears are happening and Chris might finally get called out on his kissing frenzy.
EXTRA: Des and Chris are MARRIED! According to Chris Harrison’s blog, Desiree from season 9 of The Bachelorette and adorable baseball player Chris got married sans the televised production (much to ABC’s dismay I’m assuming). And as I’m sure you’ve already read Josh and Andi broke up like the day after the LIVE red carpet event for this season’s premiere.