The Bachelorette, who got kicked off, who got kicked off last night, who got kicked off the bachelorette, who is left on the bachelorette, who was sent home
Yeehaw! We’re in San Antonio, Texas for Mariachia outfits, drama, and a Princeton grad meltdown. Honesty is the key word tonight. That was a big theme this episode, and one you should definitely add to those Bachelor Board Drinking Games.
Who got kicked off: Finally, a rose ceremony! Three men were sent home. Don’t worry, it’s no one you know or would be able to remember from the herd of hunky men. The one’s with red X’s were sent on their way.
One-On-One: Sperm man Ben H. gets the first one-on-one and opens up to Kaitlyn about his last relationship. They entered a quick step competition with some legitimate honky tonk champions. Surprisingly, they made it past the first round.
Group Date: Mariachi Band
This may have been the most painful group date yet. And you thought wearing man diapers was bad. This is what we have come to find this season: If you’re going on a group date with Kaitlyn, you are not going to look good, as evidenced by this band of Mariachi men. The men (hats and all) serenaded Kaitlyn. I use the term “serenaded” loosely. Although, Kaitlyn’s rendition might have been the worst of the bunch. Nick asked to perform his serenade from the balcony to the displeasure of all of the other bachelors.
Nick V. got the rose in a defiant act by Kaitlyn to show the men she means business, which might partially be due to Joshua’s talk with her.
Joshua’s Fall and Awkward Circle Time
Joshua fell pretty fast from Kaitlyn’s good graces. He tried to call out Nick. Kaitlyn got all defensive and accused people of lying to her face. She threw out the word honest a lot and that was the time to start taking shots for every time that word was uttered. Then. THEN she gathered all of the men for awkward circle time. It was the best. This was not your average dorm room RA conflict intervention of let’s use “I feel this when you do this” phrases. This was let’s throw you under the bus circle time. Kaitlyn called out Joshua to the guys and then tried to pinpoint anyone who questioned her motives.
The best part was Joshua had to sit through this with an awful, helter-skelter haircut Kaitlyn had given him just minutes before. Ironically, it was his way of showing her he trusted her.
One-On-One: Personal trainer Shawn B. kayaked through the city of San Antonio with Kaitlyn and showed what a standup guy he was by letting Kaitlyn know Joshua’s outburst came from a good place. He also told her about a car crash he survived, where his car rolled 6 times and police said they’ve never seen anyone survive that. He credited it to snapping his seatbelt on minutes before the crash occurred.
The L Word!
Red alert! This might be the earliest someone has said they’re falling for someone. Shawn B. was the first one to say to Kaitlyn he was falling in love with her. Jared did say he was falling in love with her, but that was to the producers. Doesn’t count. What’s even better is Kaitlyn said, “I feel the same way.” What! You can’t do that! Screw contracts and terms of non-disclosure. Screw rose ceremonies. I do what I want.
Princeton grad, track athlete, model, man of lots of ex-girlfriends. Did I miss anything? I’m sure he’ll let us know next episode. Ian had a little tantrum because he wasn’t number one in Kaitlyn’s pool of men. He noticed she wasn’t giving him as much attention and he wanted to go out in a blazing ball of glory. He pulled Kaitlyn aside at the cocktail party and just shouldered into it. Gists of his tirades:
“She’s not half as hot as my ex-girlfriend.”
“You’re surface level and I’m starting to wonder if there’s anything below the surface.”
“I came here to meet the girl whose heart was crushed by Chris Soules, not the girl who wanted to plow his field.”
“I think you just want to be here to make-out with a bunch of guys.”
For all you cheaters out there, there’s an ultimate spoiler awash in Bachelor world. Kaitlyn snapchatted a photo of her in bed with the supposed winner of the show. Thank you, screenshots, because now that is forever floating around the interwebs. There’s speculation a producer leaked it to throw people off the scent, but I really don’t think that’s likely. I don’t want to know (and I’m afraid of what I’ll find should I Google Bachelor Snapchat) so I’m not including a link, but for you spoilers, Google away!
Who do you think makes it to the Fantasy Suite BEFORE the Fantasy Suite dates? And is that the person she ends up with? I’m genuinely curious. We’ll find out next week who the mystery man is and what else Ian has to say to Kaitlyn before strutting out the door. Don’t forget. Honest. Add it. It’s definitely coming back next episode and throughout the season. Until next week, Bachelor Fans!
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