Fantasy Suite dates and “hometowns” all in one! I say hometowns hesitantly because technically they weren’t in anyone’s hometown. It was some hotel in Utah where they were all holed up, and where I was desperately waiting for one giant family to go track down the other giant family’s hotel room and have a Shawn B. and Nick V. Family Feud-style showdown, but where they both sit in a death stare face-off on opposing couches.

Who got sent home: Ben H., the software salesman from Denver, CO, proving my theory that all hot men originate from Colorado (sans JJ).

Fantasy Suite Dates

Ben H.

Kaitlyn took him horseback riding and then they went to feed goats or sheep or something. They both had on very comfy, cozy sweaters and that’s exactly how their date felt – comfy, cozy friends. They talked about their ages and the future. Ben H. is 26. Kaitlyn is turning 30. And that’s about all that came of that.

Shawn B.

I love these love analogies. Every season we get to hear how love is like an airplane or a bull fighting ring or deep and wide like the ocean. THIS season Shawn B. opened our eyes to how love is like golf: “It’s something you can do when you’re old and gray.” Yes, yes it is something you can do when you’re old and gray… Anyway, if you hadn’t picked up on that yet, Shawn B. and Kaitlyn went golfing. They were all kinds of flirtatious. They got into a bet where Shawn B. had to sink a putt completely naked, earning him his first black box on national television. Kaitlyn stole his clothes while he was golfing and this is where that magical, crafty editing skills of the ABC producers come in. Shawn B. ran after her and that was the scene they used to cut and overlay with Kaitlyn’s passionate gasps when she was with Nick.

After Shawn B.’s overnight, off-camera date, Nick was creepily waiting outside of the hotel room to have it out with Shawn. And by have it out I mean have another conversation inside their hotel room, where they just reaffirm their hatred for one another. It was futile and pointless and great nonetheless.

Talks with Chris Harrison

Chris Harrison finally got to do some hosting. He sat down in plush chairs by the roaring fire to talk out Kaitlyn’s relationships with each of the men. Kaitlyn revealed that Ben H. calms her, Nick brings out a serious and thoughtful side to her, and Shawn has both.

A Rare Rose Ceremony

Kaitlyn had a physical reaction to having to put the men through a rose ceremony and had to step out of the room for a moment to collect herself. I thought it was due to the plunging neck line of that red dress. “My heart is beating out of my chest right now.” Too easy, Kaitlyn, too easy. I have no idea what she said to the men during the rose ceremony because I was too distracted waiting for the nip slip to happen. In any case, Ben H. was sent home.

Hometowns

Kaitlyn met both Shawn B.’s family and Nick V.’s family. In case you weren’t aware from Andi’s season, Nick V. has a giant family. He is one of 10 siblings, the youngest of which is Bella, who asks the tough questions: Are you in love with my brother. Another fun fact, is that Nick is from Wisconsin, even though he now resides in Chicago. He also ran track back in the day. Other fun facts can be found here: 7 Things to Know About Waukesha Bachelorette Contestant Nick Viall. Nick’s mother was about to have a meltdown at the possibility of Nick getting is heartbroken for a second time via The Bachelor franchise. The rest of the siblings seemed cool with it.

Shawn B.’s family was great too. Shawn is the youngest of two sisters and no one in the family resembles any other family member. Some of them could possibly be related to Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn had a great time getting to know them and therein lies the problem. She was hoping that one of the family meet-and-greets would completely bomb so she could be like, yes, that one. That should be my future husband. Well good luck with that because that has yet to reveal itself to her.

Tweets of the Night:

  

Next week it is Men Tell All! And then the episode we’ve all been waiting for…who she chooses and if they’re still together After the Final Rose! Plus, Nick and Shawn B. get to meet the ‘rents.

Who are you most excited to see on The Men Tell All?

Who are you most excited to see on Bachelor in Paradise?

For the full cast list for Bachelor in Paradise, visit ABC.com. The season premiere is a two-night event on Sunday, August 2 at 8|7c and Monday, August 3 at 8|7c.