Chad be cray cray. Damn Daniel has returned to the motherland. And penis man Evan has returned home to help penii everywhere.

The Bachelorette was not on last Monday night, because of basketball. So we have some catching up to do. Two weeks ago we left off with a cliff hanger where JoJo was forced to choose between the two marines on a two-on-one date. She sent Chad home but he returned to the house to catch up with the guys. No one was thrilled about that.

They have a rose ceremony and the Canadian Daniel and Boxer Man James F. are kicked off.

Uruguay! Finally, The Bachelorette gets some budget money to go someplace cool! The group heads to Uruguay.

The Drama. The guys get ahold of a tabloid and see JoJo printed all over it with rumors and an interview with her ex saying she was never in love with Ben. Scandalous. How in the world did that happen? Wherever would they find the exact magazine that puts into question JoJo’s true intentions? Well, the producers think this is obviously a great time for JoJo to talk to the men and dissuade the rumors because it’s only logical. Definitely not for those ratings.

JoJo cries and sobs something incomprehensible and all’s well in the land.

Who got kicked off: The first rose ceremony this week Damn Daniel our beloved Canadian and boxer man James F. were sent home following quickly on the heels of Chad. Following in their footsteps for the second rose ceremony of the night to play catch up from a week missed, were Fireman Grant, Penis man Evan, and Vinny the barber who no one remembers. I didn’t even know Vinny was still there. Did anyone else realize Vinny the barber was still around?


Group Date: The guys get to go sand surfing, which is basically the coolest activity aside from bubble soccer. James Taylor is as adorable as ever and Dunder Mifflin Derek is getting jealous. Derek gets the rose on the group date after JoJo calls him out in front of the guys and tells them she’s giving it as a reassurance rose, which everyone knows as Alex so aptly pointed out is a pity rose.

First one to say I love you

One-on-One: Olympic swimmer Robby got the one-on-one date and they dove straight into the waves of love. It was a metaphorical leap of faith into love. The music swelled as the waves swelled and an epic make-out session ensued. Robby revealed the tragic story of his best friend who passed away in a car accident as he was texting and driving. (That’s a big no no, kids.) He was texting his gf at the time and was going to propose to her that week. Since then Robby has been unafraid of expressing how he feels. He told JoJo he loves her!

Quote of the night: Robby

“Love is a mutual thing. It’s a force that pulls two bodies together. She gave me the rose and is on the path to loving me back.”

Except that’s she’s definitely in love with Jordan.

More drama. Now that Chad is gone, everyone is hating on Dunder Mifflin man Derek. Alex is just a mini ball of fury. And Derek accuses Alex, Jordan, Chase and Robby of forming a clique. Basically, Mean Girls.

Cocktail Party Canceled

JoJo informs Chris Harrison she has made up her mind and doesn’t see the need to put the fellows through a cocktail ceremony. Chris Harrison informs the men that three of them will be going home tonight. And Evan, Grant and Vinny who no one knew was even there were sent home.

Next week on The Bachelorette, they are traveling to Buenos Aires, Argentina! Where JoJo only wears red and it gets hot and heavy.

JoJo said in the previews, “The passion that is Luke is crazy.” She also questions if there is another side to Jordan that she’s not aware of. ABC also previewed the final rose ceremony where JoJo tells one of the men that he hurt her and she’s emotionally distraught that she had to let a man go that she truly loves. It looks great. Bring on the tears!! I can’t wait for these men to meet JoJo’s brothers. It’s just getting good!

Who do you think makes it to the final four?