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Lord help me, if someone mentions Arie one more time. Bring back the choir.
We are back! Becca is ready to do the damn thing! And she has a fun bunch of men that are going to make this season a good one. She also has a couple All-Stars.
Who got kicked off: Jake was sent home early, before the rose ceremony because Becca said they had met before and ran in the same social circles and there was no prior interest. The rest of the men in Red X’s were sent home night one.
Start of the episode Pep Talks Kaitlyn, JoJo and Rachel who have all been engaged for foreeever and still no wedding. No judgment. Came to help give her a pep talk. They did give a little tidbit that all three kissed their men they are with now on night one AND gave them their first impression rose.
Fun Facts About the Men
Jordan Male Model Jordan says it’s tough being a model. “There’s so much involved. You’ve got gym year round. You’ve got tan year round. It’s taxing.”
Jean Blanc is a cologne lover. He owns one that costs $1,200. And he owns fancy ties and fancy watches.
Colton used to play for the San Diego Chargers (shoutout to my peeps) and now runs a nonprofit in honor of his niece to treat Cystic Fibrosis. He cites having been in one serious relationship. With Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman. So there’s that.
Party Fouls and Arie Reminders
Connor Why would you fake propose! She already had that happen! The worst.
Nick came in as a racecar driver to reiterate that he was NOT a racecar driver.
ManBun Mike pops out of the limo with a life-sized cutout of Arie.
Only Leo gets it. In the words of Leo the Lion, “Remind the girl of her ex. That’s a bad idea.”
Worst First Impressions
Chicken Man David came out of the limo in a chicken costume shouting Bec-caw Bec-caw! First of all, chickens don’t caw. Those are crows. It’s a stretch, David. And not flattering. But you stay.
Kamil the social media participant got out of the limo and made her come to him. WHAT THE WHAT. Something about having to go 60 /40 in a relationship. 100 percent going home.
Trent rolled up in a hearst. And told Becca he died and she brought him back to life. One of the guys watching had a better line that he killed the competition.
Just Okay First Impressions
Blake who rode in on a horse at After the Final Rose, rode in on an Ox this time. He loves his animals.
Chris brought a choir. Then just kind of left her out there while he went in the mansion.
First Impression Rose
Goes to Garrett who crushed the entrance and taught her fly flishing and reminded her of home. Take notes. This is how it’s done. He rolled up in a minivan complete with a carseat, diapers and soccer balls. When he taught her fly fishing the guys in the house were watching and one commented “I wonder if he’s catching anything.” Another so aptly responded, “Feelings.” Truth. Garrett got the first impression rose.
Clay our pro football player brought in actual clay so that they could do arts and crafts and she would remember his name. They made weird clay dolls of each other. It was cute.
Christon of the Globe Trotters had her hold a ball over her head and he dunked on her. It was incredible and made me want to see a Harlem Globe Trotters show. Like immediately.
Jake has had a transformative year. Becca told him, “We’ve hung out a couple times in the same circle. He never showed any interest. We’ve met multiple times and not have any interest. On either end there was kind of nothing.” Jake didn’t fight too hard to stay or deny he was there for the wrong reasons. So she sent him home.
Wills likes Harry Potter so much so that he has “Expecto Petronus” tattooed on his wrist, which in Latin means “I awaken a guardian.” Which obviously if you watch Harry Potter and have your own Petronus, you know.
Best Reaction Shots
I think this season is going to call for a new section dedicated to Jordan’s fun mind.
Jordanisms (n.): Wisdom by Jordan
“You know, I have a lot of love to give. And my love is like a little pot on top of the oven (steam whistle sounds). And then you know, the next thing you know is the pot’s steaming and it’s time to pour some tea.”
It’s time to pour some tea tonight at 8|7c pm on ABC.