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Tears beginning. Colton still hasn’t scaled that wall yet. And breakdowns a’coming. Demi touched the rose and Tracy had a heart attack. DO NOT TOUCH the ROSE! Respect the Roses. Demi is making this an age game and I, leading the cougars, will crush her.

Colton had a different sort of one-on-one with Hannah B. aka Miss Alabama who is all up in her head. All of the ladies are still curiously talking about how Colton is a Virgin. And hey, did you know Colton is a virgin? Just checking. I wanted to make sure the ABC messaging got to you. It’s the red thread people!

Who got kicked off: Alex B., Angelique, Annie, and Erica went home. Two of them were wearing white dresses. Odd.

Colton Underwood The Bachelor Week 2

Elyse got the rose on the first group date. Cougars: 1. Demi: 0.

Hannah B. (aka Miss Alabama) got the rose on the first one-on-one date despite having to be perfect the whole time and annoying the f* out of Colton. She finally loosened up.

Heather got the rose on the second group date, which included summer sleep-away camp activities.

All hail the Elyse’s! Cougar town is representing. Hannah G. is still chugging along as a frontrunner and Heather is still yet to be kissed.

On the group dates, the ladies were made to tell a story about their firsts with many sex stories encouraged. The ladies were also taken to summer camp for their group date. On the one-on-one (with Hannah B. aka Miss Alabama) they went on a horse back riding adventure in the Vasquez rocks to you guessed it…a hot tub. It’s officially Bachelor season.

Full recap to follow.