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Just Show Up. A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime. Break the Rules, Take a Risk. I Think I’ve Met My Husband. Palm Springs. Clare Has Arrived!

It is finally here!!! After months and months of quarantine and a barren land of Bachelor viewing, The Bachelorette has begun! Show up is the theme of the night. Clare thanks everyone for showing up and thanks herself for always showing up…on The Bachelor, on Bachelor in Paradise, on Bachelor Winter Games…How far we’ve come from the days of talking to raccoons. So excited to celebrate you, Clare!

The episode started out with a recap of Clare’s announcement as The Bachelorette to remind us what has happened in the last countless months since quarantine. Clare came down from Sacramento all the way to Palm Springs to film The Bachelorette. Palm Springs is the new site of The Bachelorette this year.

Her journey begins at…

La Quinta Resort and Club in Palm Springs

A COVID montage started reminding us why the season was delayed. Cut to La Quinta Resort and Club where all of Clare’s men were getting tested for COVID, like every day waiting to hear the words, “You’re clear to meet Clare!”

There were adorable reactions from the men, including arms wide open announcing, “Anybody want to give me a hug? You? You? You?” after finding out they had Clare-ance to meet the lucky lady.

These men are buff. It actually seems like a sweet group.

Rose Ceremony

Who got kicked off: Going home night one with but a parting gift of a COVID-negative test are AJ, Chris, Jeremy, Jordan M., Mike, Page, Robby, and Tyler C. (There can only be one!) The filming was well into the daylight of the next day, the poor lads.

First Impressions

Ben Army Ranger was the first man out of the limo and they took a deep breath together.

Jason came in pregnant harkening back to Clare’s entrance on Juan Pablo’s season when she came in with a pregnant belly.

Kenny is a boy band manager – officially the coolest career – and he wore a t-shirt with Clare’s two dogs’ faces on it, to which Clare quickly offered to pet her pups and feel up his abs.

Someone brought flip-flops for the evening which was so thoughtful and I love him.

West Virginia pulled up in a station wagon National Lampoon-style, packed with his entire life. How in the world did he fit it all in there?

West Virginia was followed up immediately by a Rolls Royce. That’s just mean, Bachelor producers. Harvard Bennett as he shall be known because his name is Bennett and he went to Harvard and is throwing out some serious Legally Blonde ex-boyfriend vibes, stepped out in a tux and white scarf, douche-style. He seems nice.

Canadian Blake is full of energy, and I am here for it. Plus, he has a pup that likes to sing. Maybe he can add a pup to Clare’s two to make a trio. Clare revealed that Blake the Canadian reached out to Clare during quarantine and broke a rule, saying, “That time you broke the rule meant everything to me.” Uh-oh. Oh, thank goodness. “It was at a time when I was struggling during quarantine. My mom had fallen and broke her nose. So thank you.” It would break my heart to see Canadian Blake go.

“Take the risk every single time,” she said. And they shared a kiss!

First Kiss! Canadian Blake! Hip, hip, hooray!

And then there was Dale

Dale is the man Clare said she thinks she just met her husband. She said the world went dark and all she saw was him. And said, “I think I’ve just met my husband.” Alrighty, then.

It love.
Dale picked up Clare.

First Impression Rose: Clare gave her first impression rose to Dale and then he also got a kiss because Clare asked.

Eazy has by far the coolest nickname, he played professional football, wore a salmon three-piece suit, and his pick-up line was, “You will always be my first round draft pick.” Later, he continued his pun game with, “I thought it would be easy but that’s just my name.” Oh, Eazy, you have easily become my favorite. (Sidenote: Sisterhood of the Traveling Salmon Jacket reference. Brush up.)

Chasen showed up in a full-on medieval knight suit to which Chris Harrison had to help Clare clean up after Chasen had shed it on the front lawn.

Demar (pretty sure it was Demar, gonna have to triple check, doesn’t matter, it was incredible) wore a skydiving suit and said, “I just wanted to let you know I may have fallen for you already.” Oh, daaaayum, such a good pun. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Ed showed up in a bubble. AMAZING.

SNACKS! Jordan brought popcorn and Yosef brought moon pies. Eazy said it’s turning into a potluck.

Not-Sure-About-That-Moments: A whoopie cushion in a ring box, but like of a butt farting. I don’t get it. And someone in a straight jacket.

They all seem so kind.

Clare’s dog, Honey the Golden Retriever, is the real star of the show. Every episode should have a dog in it.

The Bachelorettes Hand-Off the Rose: No reason for this. I just thought it was cute and you could see where The Bachelorettes of seasons past are now.

Tweets from the Night: These tweeters are just superb.

Speaking of which, can I just say how much I love this cover art?

Throwback Never forget:

Next week, The Bachelorette airs Tuesday, 8|7c on ABC. So settle in with your wine and blankets and bachelorette viewing parties, and let’s do the damn thing!