Clare Crawley, Clare Crawley's Men, The Bachelor Season 16, The Bachelorette, who didn't get a rose, who got kicked off the bachelorette, who got kicked off the bachelorette last night, who got sent home, who is left on the bachelorette, who was eliminated, who was sent home on the bachelorette
Love languages. Speaking for the Group. Anyone Want to Steal Me?…Anyone? Nah. Strip Dodgeball!
Break out the rosé and remember to make your Guess the Rose fantasy league picks for this week.
Who got kicked off: No rose ceremony this week. So same dudes.
Turns out it’s hard to plan a bunch of dates in quarantine. I think they should just do spa dates.
Group Date #1: Dale, the guy Clare said she thinks she just met her husband, was on the group date and a bunch of other dudes. But do they even matter? Yosef, Riley, Jordan, Ivan, Bennett, Ben, the Zac’s were on the date.
Kudos to the intern that had to come up with all of these creative quarantine dates. First group date up is…Love languages!
For those not in the know, the 5 Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time and Acts of Service. But we only had time to cover four of these, starting with Words of Affirmation. Clare stood in some sort of make-shift Rapunzel castle and the men one-by-one expressed their affection for her. Next up was Gifts, and the men ran back to their hotel rooms to grab gifts. Is it timed? Why are they running? Did they know they had to bring gifts?
Quote of the Night: In reference to Harvard Bennett, who actually seems like a stand-up guy: “Look at that gorgeous stride. He looks like an antelope.” The men NOT on the group date were hanging out by the pool and narrated as the men ran by.
The gifts were cute. Dale gave her puppy perfume. Riley gave Clare a baseball that he used to play his last game that read, “Don’t complain. Just do it.” Garin gave her a chess piece because he’s good at chess and likes it and he could call her his Queen to his King. Do they get their gifts back? Like how is Garin going to play chess now? And what about Riley’s baseball. That seems sentimental.
Next up! Physical Touch!
Quote of the Night: Goes to Clare in reference to the physical touch – “Much needed after quarantine.” Nelly’s It’s Getting Hot in Here is the only way to describe the date. That and smell. Apparently, Clare is a big smell person?
Next Up! Quality Time! Or erm…
Awko Taco: Clare asked if anyone wanted to talk to her because after the toast on the group date there was an awkward silence where no one pulled her aside. Clare asked if anyone wanted to pull her aside. It was uncomfortable. I think she just has a quality group of guys that likes to hang out all as one. Clare should be grateful. Bennett volunteered as tribute. Clare and Bennett went off to chat and then Clare was like I can’t concentrate and returned to the group to ream them!
Actual footage of Harvard Bennett waiting for Clare to return for their chat:
Clare returned the group to get her affirmations and all the dudes stood up. They all apologized, stating they didn’t know it was the time to pull people away. Yosef tried to speak for the group. Clare said, nah. Some dude tried to pull her away and Clare ignored it. And then Dale spoke up and gave a speech about not holding back ever again and pulled her away and she allowed it. All of the men are still standing at this point trying to comfort Clare. Clare shared a kiss with Dale.
Then, later, she gave a speech to Zac C. about how she is not always the prettiest girl in the room, or the smartest, but she has a good heart. Zac C. was like yep, cool.
Rose on the group date: Riley got the group date rose. Riley slow danced with her and got a kiss.
First One-on-One: Jason
Lucky duck, Jason, got to go to therapy on his first date! I LOVE therapy, but not for a first date. Phew, that is a lot.
Date Card: The date card read: Love will set us free. And a letter arrived at his door the day of the date. And then the voiceover happened. OMG he’s reading it. OMG Clare’s reading it. OMG they’re writing a letter to their younger selves. This production. We’re gonna be talking about our emotions and feelings. Eek.
Jason and Clare sat around a campfire and wrote down words and threw them on a rock to break them. They talked about their deepest darkest secrets. They burned her dress from the finale of her show with Juan Pablo. It seemed healing. It also seemed like they were two opposites.
Group Date #2: Strip Dodgeball
Chris Harrison properly prepared us for this prior to the show airing on his Instagram. Cool, cool. Again, not a lot to do in quarantine, I guess.
Team Blue Balls, true to their name, lost. They were sent home in their jockstrappy things. And Clare gave them hugs on the way out.
Twitter thinks it was demeaning. It’s a long line of taking off their clothes for a cause or just cause on The Bachelor/ette (see: Juan Pablo’s season, Andy’s season, and it goes on.) Not supporting it.
The red team got extra time with Clare for their win. Canadian Blake of the blue team, took another risk and against his better judgment crashed the group for more time with Clare. And all the boys with their cocktails stormed his one-on-one time. Blake before leaving went in for a kiss and was denied.
It earned Canadian Blake a rose at the Cocktail Party prior to the Rose Ceremony, which did not sit well with the rest of the crew.
Young Brandon got sent home on this extra group time because he tripped up on his words. He told Clare he was excited to hear she was the bachelorette and then when she asked why, he bobbled. He was like I don’t know anything about you. I think you’re pretty. And she was like, nope. Bye, boy.
Chasen got the rose on the group date.
Dale gets more time at the Cocktail Party. They talk and Dale tells her, “You’re not meant to go through life alone.” Sweet.