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All Dale All Day. Yosef, Betta Check Yo’self. Eazy is Easily the Best. No dates for anyone, but Dale. Enter Tayshia.

Next week, The Bachelorette airs Thursday 8|7c on ABC instead of Tuesday.

All Dale all day. It was a lot of Dale this episode. Don’t drink for every time you hear the word Dale. Or read it in this blog post. That could be a doozy. This week all of the men were finally getting annoyed with the time and attention Dale was getting from Clare.

The true star still remains to be Honey the Golden Retriever. Look at that sweet face.

Who got kicked off: At the rose ceremony sweet, sweet Garin was sent home, along with Blake With The Good Hair and Tyler S. Fair thee well. Zach J. got the boot on his one-on-one date. Also, the cocktail party was cut short. Thanks, Yosef.

“I’m still single, because I didn’t settle for men like that.” Get it, Clare!

Yosef came at Clare with harsh words about the strip dodgeball date that he wasn’t on. It was not cool. He told her to listen to him when she tried to speak after his diatribe. He said shitty things like, “I expected more from the oldest (emphasis on oldest) bachelorette,” and “You’re not fit to be the mother of my child.” Let’s practice nice words. I also didn’t like that he put a number on her timeline and a negative connotation on her age too, saying that she was almost 40, like it’s a bad thing to be single at that age. Everyone is on their own timeline and some people like to be single and don’t want kids. Life’s different for everyone and you can’t put a fixed timeline on everyone. It just doesn’t work. And that’s my thoughts on timelines. It was just uncalled for and super shitty. Bye, boy. Yosef’s a douche.

Dale to the rescue! He hugged and comforted Clare, and told her not to give another thought to it. Dale said he had three sisters and some have experienced verbal abuse like that, and it’s not ok.

Wisdomess Dale Quote: “You’re dealing with a lot, but focus on what matters and who matters.” Wisdom from Dale. Amen, 2020.

Cocktail hour got cut short because of Yosef, and Clare skipped straight to the rose ceremony.

And we’re on the group dates! Again, props to the ABC intern who is trying their darndest to make quarantine dates happen. It does feel like we have our Bachelorette format. Cheers to you.

Group Date #1: A lot of Dale. And waiting…and waiting…

The day group date didn’t happen. It ended up being postponed to a cocktail party. It was odd. Like you’re in the same hotel. I don’t think the La Quinta is massive. Did you get lost? The men waited and waited and waited and then found out their date would be a cocktail party instead. It was odd and kinda rude.

There’s like nothing else to do in quarantine. Don’t you want to hang out?

Instead, Clare spent the better part of the day with previous Bachelorette Deandra. Cool, cool. I mean, I’m no bachelorette, but I would def rather hang out with a bunch of boys interested in me than with a fellow lady to find my hubby. Just saying.

Deandra and Clare Smell Dale’s Pants

I guess it makes sense? I dunno. I don’t want to be smelling anything near the crotch area or the butt area or ankle area or any pant area really. Dale ripped his pants day one on the group date when they were running to get their love language gifts for Clare at their hotel rooms. Again, why are we running? Is it timed? It was a pretty big rip. Clare asked for the pants as a gift, to which Dale obliged with a bow on them. Clare said they smelled like him. Deandra checked the pant size and confirmed it was a nice smell. Hm.

Anyway, cocktail party finally came ’round and it’s basically time for Dale and Clare. Dale and Clare make out. Dale interrupts a couple more times to the men’s dismay, and Clare invites Dale over even after he’s had all the time.

Group Date Rose: Dale Yep, you guessed it. Dale got the group date rose. Shocker.

The men are not happy.

Sidenote: Clare also asked the producers to hurry through the other one-on-one times with the guys, because she only had eyes for Dale. If you want to date Dale, great, happy for you. Go date Dale and be happy. But don’t be disrespectful to the guys that showed up for you and jumped through a bunch of hoops for you in COVID times. It’s not cool.

One-on-One: Zach J. got the one-on-one date. They had a lovely date, floating around on a rainbow floatie in the pool and Honey the Golden Retriever came out for puppy kisses. Clare leaned in for a kiss (to Zach not Honey for clarification) and Zach J. was there waiting, but then Clare pulled back. I guess he didn’t lean in quick enough? Roll the tapes! He was genuinely upset that he had hurt her. And she didn’t give him the opportunity to say it was a misunderstanding and that he liked her. She told him it was fine and walked away to get ready for dinner. Except it was NOT fine. There was no communication on Clare’s part. She just didn’t show up for the date. Poor Zach J. was sitting there waiting and sweating and Chris Harrison shows up and sends him home. WTF.

Clare got triggered. I get that, not cool. But like take your time away and then come back and give him the opportunity to explain, and send him home having the explanation from you, not Chris Harrison. Have the hard conversation if you’re here for love. And don’t make him wait without explanation. You’re in the bungalow like right there. It also seems harsh to send him home so abruptly. Poor guy. Awful. I feel for Zach J. Bring him back for Tayshia!

Luggage Lady made an appearance to take his luggage away.

Group Date #2: Comedy – The Roast

Clare says she likes jokes. Clare doesn’t like jokes. Particularly not the jokes that reference Dale. The men on the group date were asked to do a roast of the other men in the house. The audience was the other men in the house, because we’re still in quarantine. ABC did bring in comedian Margaret Cho to roast the men a bit and judge the contestants with Clare. It was a lot of jokes about Dale.

At the after party cocktail session, all the men on the group date had time with Clare. After their mini time, they compared notes and the consensus was Clare only wanted to ask about their jokes about Dale. Hm.

But we did get Eazy Moments and that was great. From now on every week will have Eazy moments, because who doesn’t need a little ease in their day? See what I did there? You’re welcome. Here we go:

Eazy Moments

Ben was great on the date. Clare asked about his joke about Dale. Spill the tea! Tell me the dirt! And cool Ben was like I don’t want to use our time to talk about the other guys in the house. Smart man. Clare was like, but I want the dirt. What is happppening.

Kenny is not having any of it. He’s ready to mutiny.

Zach C. made a Gossip Girl reference and stole my heart in the process. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Clare, in reference to questioning why the guys were jealous of her love with Dale, said “It’s because I like him. What are you new here?” Why yes, Clare, yes, they actually are.

And then…

Clare gave the group date rose to herself. Yep, she told the guys she was gonna sleep on it and didn’t hand it out. In her interview post-date with the producers Clare gave the rose to herself in a very long speech. Eesh.

In sum, Clare should just be with Dale. Clare should stop canceling dates that Dale’s not on. And Honey is still the cutest dog of all time.

Tayshia Adams as the next Bachelorette?

Tayshia arose from the pool from the fine La Quinta establishment, looking fly as all get out. She’s a’coming. OMG save us from these missed dates and Dale-focused episodes.* Note: Dale is great. But it’s all Dale all day. We want to get to know the other guys and go on dates and watch her fall in looove.

According to a Vulture article talking about The Viall Files podcast that interviewed The Bachelorette producer, Mike Fleiss, the producers pinpointed a time when they knew it was time to replace Clare. The producers knew it was time to bring in a new bachelorette when Clare gave the rose to herself on the group date. Enter Tayshia Adams.

Next week, The Bachelorette is on THURSDAY at 8|7c, not Tuesday because of that little election happening on Nov. 3rd. VOTE! Previews show Clare breaking down and Tayshia emerging from that vast pool at La Quinta Resort and Hotel in Palm Springs to become the new Bachelorette. I still need to know how they’re gonna handle the men? Just bring in new ones to add to the ones already left? What are your predictions? Speaking of predictions, don’t forget to pick your people for Guess the Rose Bachelorette Fantasy League for next week! See you and your wine glasses (bottles, no judgement) then! Thursday! Be there!

Let’s goooo!