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I Need a Grown Ass Man…And for Noah to Shave That ‘Stache. Heart Eyes for Brendan. Zac C. Coming in Hot. Smokeshow.

Tayshia is looking for a Grown Ass Man, not a Man Child. Ashley I. and Jared made a special appearance. As did Wells Adams. And Tayshia’s men went on a well-oiled wrestling date.

Who got kicked off: Jay and the newbies Peter and Montel got kicked off this week. Fun fact: According to Cosmopolitan the newbies had been quarantining at the start of Clare’s season just in case.

The first rose ceremony took place at the mid-mark on the episode.

Group Date #1: Ashley I and Jared Haibon are here to help Tayshia find a man, not a child with all kinds of fun planned.

The men had to go through a few competitions to be crowned a Grown Ass Man, not a Man Child. The challenges included a math challenge, a physical tug-of-war and bringing Tayshia breakfast in bed and it was great. Bennett wore a robe. He also got all of the math questions wrong. Maybe he’s just not an auditory learner, but he and Harvard got roasted for it. Ashley I. and Jared hosted. They’ve been married for 1 year now.

Bennett brought beignets as his breakfast food to which Tayshia told the producers: “Bennett is bougie, and I’m bougie.”

Grown Ass Man Award: Bennett got the award for his romantic gesture of beignets in bed.

The Award for Man Child: Goes to Ed. Ed got a baby doll as an award.

I think Tayshia is spotting the manly men in her group. Zac C. is standing out.

Quote of the Day: Goes to Joe – “I’m gonna show her how grown my ass is as a man.” Oh, Joe.

Ivan got the rose on the group date. We don’t deserve Ivan. Ivan wants to start a charity and leave the world a better place than how he found it. Like heart melt much?

Ed and Chasen (aka Wolverine as nicknamed by his friends) had a bit of a go.

Ed, whilst holding his baby doll from the group date challenge, tattled on Chasen for saying the same things to Tayshia that he was saying to Clare. To which Chasen responded by pivoting to using “Smokeshow” as his new adjective for Tayshia. Mmkay.

It was boring and dumb and their little tiffs took entirely too much time.

More Riley! More Ben! More Brendan!

Group Date #2: Wrestling as Hosted by Wells Adams and Chris Harrison

The men walked into a room with a mat and Tayshia beating the poopers out of a jacked lady. After Tayshia threw the lady’s face down into the mat, she skipped over happily to the men to greet them. Well, alrighty then. The lady from the mat and another all-star pro lady wrestler came on the set to let the men know they would be fighting for Tayshia’s love today on the mat just like Tayshia was demonstrating. The ladies were there to teach the men how it was done. The two ladies were Amy Dumas who was a professional wrestler with stage name Lita for the WWE, and Tatiana Suarez who is a UFC Champion Fighter. They did some warm-ups and practiced their smack talking. And this was the moment I fell in love with Joe.

Joe’s Smack Talk included “You’re a really nice guy! You have nice eyes too! And your chest is really strong!” Marry me.

It was cute. Joe embraced that he was not a smack talker.

As Joe pointed out there were ex-NFL players, ex-collegiate basketball players. Athletic people. Joe was all-conference volleyball. So he was my heart.

Chasen on the other hand was trés aggressive. He said to Brendan that he wasn’t going to wake up the next morning. Eeesh.

Brendan handled it like a champ and said, “Alright, you’re right.” And walked away. Hilarious.

Chris Harrison and Wells hosted the wrestling competition. And it was great. I love anytime they bring Wells back on – like his well-earned place on Bachelor in Paradise as the listening bartender. (Wells is engaged to Sarah Hyland and they found love via Twitter.) The men were informed they would be wrestling in front of a live audience (essentially all the producers and the rest of the men in the village, because quarantine.)

And then the men came out in their Rocky-looking gear and had Tayshia oil them up for the good old-fashioned wrastling. Excellent. The men were paired up.

Tayshia was hoping for a little more low-key wrestling.

Noah Steps Into the Ring

Ed and Chasen were paired. Ed went to Chris Harrison, told Chris he had chronic shoulder issues and that he wouldn’t be wrestling. Chris Harrison announced the forfeiture and asked if another brave soul would wrestle. Noah hopped the fence like an agile deer and was ready for it, stripped down to his jeans. He took all of his years of growing up with 11 children into the ring. Chasen was crowned the winner. BUT Noah earned himself a spot on the group date because Tayshia halted the date, told Noah she was honored that he fought for her and invited him on the date after party. Woot. Noah.

Bennett refers to Noah as “Young Noah” and I am here for it. And Noah said that Ed had shoulder injuries and big toe injuries and he just stepped up. Ivan loved it. He was on the sidelines shouting, “Okay! Okaaaay!”

Zac C. is intriguing Tayshia. She sees him as a mature, 36-year-old man and asks all the men why they are still single. Zac C. just hasn’t found his person. Also, in a previous episode he had a cute moment where they made a wish in the fountain. I think he’s a frontrunner, folks.

Heart Eyes for Brendan

Tayshia went in for the kiss when she had one-on-one time with Brendan and cutely told him that sometimes he rambles. She also told producers that she had heart eyes for Brendan because he’s just such a humble, genuine soul. Sweet. Hopefully, that stays like that.

This is from their first one-on-one last week.

The outtakes also showed Brendan and Tayshia recreating their horseriding date with play horses that you have to thrust to move forward. It was cute.

This is from their recreation of their one-on-one date.

Ben tried to steal Tayshia at the end of the date and it was awkard.

Noah Shaved His Mustache

And it looks damn good. Oh man, Noah looks so much better. Tayshia likes to joke around with Noah a lot – very similar to her relationship with JPJ (it feels like to me). Tayshia calls him trouble, but their interactions are cute. Noah isn’t well-liked in the house, but y’know. Noah let Tayshia shave off the mustache herself, and Tayshia enjoyed the baby face she happened upon.

Young Noah got the rose on the group date.

Next week, there is trouble a brewing. The Bachelorette airs Tuesday at 8|7c on ABC! Giddy up!