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Five new women are a’coming. Chris Harrison wrote a novel. A sexy novel. As did the ladies. Interruptions. A lot of San Diego Sarah this week. Charcuterie donkey for the win!

Nemacolin just got a little steamier this week, and I don’t mean because of those fabulous wood-fired hot tubs. The ladies wrote lust *ahem, love stories for Matt and performed them. And then were interrupted by Sarah. Serena P. got a one-on-one date and was interrupted by a charcuterie-loving donkey. Matt James had a pet turtle and wears turtle swim shorts. (Turtle trunks for the swim!) And five new ladies are on their way to Pennsylvania this week!

Who got kicked off: Sarah left on her own accord. At the rose ceremony, Alana, Illeana, Kristin, Marylynn, and Sydney were sent home.

Group Date: Ashley I. made an appearance, and Chris Harrison said it might be the first time she has been on the show without crying. Touché. Ashley I. has been on The Bachelor Winter Games, Bachelor in Paradise, The Bachelor and so many fun times were had by all. (Fun Fact: Ashley I. is married to Jarod Haibon from The Bachelor Franchise and they are looking at houses in Rhode Island currently.) Ashley I. was reading a part of Chris Harrison’s novel The Perfect Letter and that book has a lot of love scenes in it, much to Lauren Zima’s surprise.

The ladies on the date were instructed to write their own love scenes and perform it/read it for Matt James. Katie crushed it. This is her forte. It was by no mere coincidence she was on this date.

Imma Let You Finish, but… Sarah pulled a Kanye and interrupted the group date to grab some time with Matt and the women were livid. Sarah was debating on going home to be with her fam or not. Her dad has weeks to live, and Sarah was vacillating back and forth on if she should stay. The ladies were mad because she already had her one-on-one date and they were scrambling for time. The ladies were not kind to Sarah after that. Some might say bullied.

Katie aka vibrator girl or the one that brought a vibrator named MJ to the first night introductions was the one whose time was interrupted and she stood by while Matt James and Sarah talked. I thought she handled it well. Sarah asked for five more minutes, which is a long time on The Bachelor. I mean you’re getting engaged in weeks. Katie came back. Then Sarah asked Matt to walk her to the door. Matt obliged. Matt likes Sarah. I think he sees Katie as a friend.

Victoria and Katie went to talk to Sarah. Queen Victoria actually made some sense and came off nice, I thought, as they talked about Sarah interrupting the group date. Also, to address her eye, Victoria said she had a stye from the group date of “Capture Matt’s Heart” in the woods of Nemacolin, according to US Weekly and US Weekly explains her mug shot for shoplifting.

Rachel got the rose on the group date.

Katie was also the one who went to talk to Sarah who had been isolating herself from the group all day. It turns out they bonded about their dads. Sarah’s dad has ALS and Katie lost a dad and wasn’t able to say good-bye it sounds like, so they related.

One-on-One Date: Serena P. got the one-on-one date with Matt and they had an adorable picnic with charcuterie. There were farm animals, particularly one donkey, that were also very interested in the charcuterie board. Serena P. asked Matt a lot of questions on the date. I didn’t learn much about Serena P.

Cute Moment of the Date: Matt reveals he had a pet turtle growing up and he had turtle swim trunks for their hot tub portion of the date. Adorable.

Sarah and Matt: Matt really likes Sarah. Sarah likes Matt. But she rolled up to his house in one of the cars and told him that she had to be home with her family, and that the women were mean. Sarah left to be with her family. See you in San Diego!

Boston Bachelor Besties Podcast Episode 3 is up! If all that you listen to is the intro music it will all have been worth it.

Boston Bachelor Besties Book Club coming to a post near you. Can’t wait to read The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison. Grab your wine glasses and fuzzy socks and cozy up on the couch because The Bachelor is back tonight! And we have a special guest on the pod – another fellow blogger Abra and her Calico Cat Sally.

Tonight five new ladies enter Nemacolin to compete for Matt’s heart. Bring on The Bachelor!