All I have to say is when Des talked with the producers about the number one thing she was looking for in a man, she must have said arms because these boys came out with guns-a-blazin’. I swear every single one of them looks like they power lift like it’s their job. I mean, I’m not complaining. The better to hold you with, my dear.

Who got kicked off: The ones in red X’s were given the boot.

First one-on-one date of the season: Brooks The pair went to try on dresses and tuxes. Des is a bridal designer so this type of date was very important to her. Brooks tried on a green tux and Des made a comment about looking like a leprachaun. Afterward, they went to get cake at a food truck. On their way out of the door, Brooks swept her off her feet to put her in the car. (Sidenote: I want her car. An aquamarine Bentley.) Then they were able to sit on the top of the Hollywood sign. Usually they don’t allow up to the sign but it was the 90th anniversary of the Hollywood sign and it’s The Bachelor. For dinner they drove through a sketchy neighborhood to have dinner outdoors on a bridge followed by a private concert from Andy Grammar.

One-on-one: Bryden from Montana. They hopped in the Bentley for a road trip! When they stopped for snacks, Des showed him popcorn in the store, he got so excited and it was pretty much adorable. They are so cute together! Des says she feels like a kid around him. He recorded their trip with his flipcam. On their roadtrip they stopped on the beach to draw in the sand, for fish tacos at Neptune, and at Orange Grove to pick oranges. Destination: Ojai for a candlelit dinner.

At dinner Bryden told her he had been in a serious accident his freshman year of college. At the time he had been working construction and was hauling a flatbed goose trailer. He flipped his truck, the truck burst into flames, and he had to be air lifted to the hospital. He had cracked and broken ribs, a collapsed lung, and 100 staples in head and shoulders, among other injuries. After going through all of that, his outlook on life is that “you should enjoy every moment of it. You only get one shot at it so why not make the most of it.” I love him!

Cutest moment of the night: In the pool, conversation dies down, and Des looks Bryden straight in the eye and says, “Just kiss me already,” and dives into his arms. I’m gonna give you the time to tune in on ABC player so you have no excuse not to go back and watch it again and again and again. Episode 2: skip to 58:28 They’re just so comfortable and happy together.

Group date: Soulja Boy what are you doing? Why are you doing a rap video for The Bachelor? Yes, you heard me correctly. The group date was a rap video, where a few of the men were given lyrics that referenced previous bachelors. My favorite is that all of the guys knew which bachelor/ettes the song was referencing. Watch much?

It was just as you would expect a rap video for The Bachelor to be. Oh, and it was called “Right Reasons,” which was pretty much most of the rap video. That would have been a great (or terrible) phrase for a Bachelor drinking game this episode.

Favorite moment: Mikey T. got ahold of a bullhorn and used it to shout down at Des and Ben when they were filming their part for the video. He used it to razz Ben. Then said, “Actually maybe Des is gonna get mad about this. Will?” as he tries to hand the megaphone over.

Sweetest moment:  Shirtless man wanted to show Des there was more to him. He gave her an antique journal! He found it at an antique store with such a sweet inscription inside and got it for Des so that she could record her adventure on The Bachelorette. Thoughtful and romantic. The inscription read:

To Cara, my beautiful daughter – may the words flow from your pen filled with emotion from your heart. Love always, Daddy

Zack K.: At the cocktail party, Zack pulls Des aside and shows her a list he made. It’s called, “Things I like about you so far…” Adorable.

Brian: His last releationship was 2 months ago…hmmm…He says it was really over 6 months ago, but basically he didn’t have the balls to break it off. (Sidenote: I spent a good amount of time and trouble trying to figure out if he was Chris or Brian because let’s be real here, they’re pretty much the same person.)

Next week, tensions continue to build between Ben and the other men in the house. Plus, supposedly an ex-girlfriend comes onto the show to confront one of the men. Things are about to get interesting.